June 28, 2009

June already, crazy.

So, I have a bit of catching up to do. Well, let me start with this.
Today, over this last week I've noticed that I need to change. My mind and my heart aren't in tune with God. I volunteered to talk at Stokd last week. While I was preparing for it, and reading all these scriptures I realized that I would be a total hypocrite for me to talk to these kids about what they need to do if I'm not doing myself. I realized that I was just playing the part of a Christian. Simply acting like I was doing everything I read, thinking to myself you're doing great just stay like this. But the real reality was that I wasn't doing great, I was slipping away slowly. Sure, I read my bible, and I pray, but it wasn't because I wanted to, its because thats what we were doing at church that day. While I was preparing I came across these verse from 1st John, and I had forgot to use in my little talk thursday but Roger used it nicely in todays sermon.

1st john 3:18 says: "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
The part that really struck me were the last three words. "and IN TRUTH." I realized that my life, I was living it in actions, with words of the tongue. But. I wasn't truthful. Or sometimes I was truthful, but only sometimes. I wasn't really living my life in truth. When telling the truth you can't only tell part of it and make up or lie about the rest, so why am I living my life like that? Because of sin. Sin has entered my world in a way I wish never happened. But it has. And I let it take a hold of me. I let it reign over God, and over me.

Well, thats not the case anymore. That sin. Its behind me. And I'm never going to think about it again, I won't let it tempt me again. It created this facade in my life, where one day I could live the perfect life and the next be in the worsts of everything. But that part of my life is over. I won't let sin reign over me anymore, because I serve a God who is mighty to save.

That verse from 1st John is my life verse right now, it is the one verse that I repeat in my head over and over again. I need to be in truth. If I'm not in truth then what good am I?

The road ahead is going to be rough at first, but I need it to be. I need to get closer with my God, and start to fully rely and trust Him with my whole life. I need to start being truthful.

Wow. Umm, other parts of my life have changed as well.

I am totally and completly dropping business or teaching and going for something that makes me totally happy. I am a student of the Culinary Institute of Virginia in Norfolk. I am only in my third week of classes and yet I am loving it! I am finally happy with what I am doing with my life! I am always looking forward to classes, and getting in the kitchen and cooking. So far, I have only cut myself twice, which is good for my class. A few of us have cut ourselves three or four times. In about 2 years I'll graduate with my Associate in Culinary Arts. With that degree I could go anywhere basically. I really would like to get in with Disney and work in one of their kitchens. Whether it is in one of the parks, or a resort, or even a cruiseliner! Getting in with Disney would be really awesome.

Other then that not much is going in my life. My little sister has made her debut in community theatre. She is playing Macduff's son in 'MacB' as we say around the house since you really shouldn't say the actual name. (Macbeth.. ;). She is thrilled about it. Hopefully she will be able to get to do more. My younger brother is growing up really fast. I can't say little anymore simply because the boy is almost taller than me, and his voice is changing and it makes me laugh. I wish there were more time in the day to hangout with my younger siblings but its hard between the work and the study and the going to school. But I try.

I also need to love them more and not get so easily angered with them. Its like in the bible in Ephesians 4:3, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." and further down in verse 31-32 "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.". I need to be like this to them. I don't want them to think I don't like them or don't care about them. Because I do. I love them. So thats another thing I am changing in my life.

My older sister is growing my little niece or nephew inside her belly. I know it is her and her husband's child before my niece or nephew but it is still exciting. I am going to be an uncle. crazy. Uncle C will be my name, or Uncle CJ.

There are a lot of changes going on in my life. All of which are important in my life.
So strap on your seatbelt. or you can just sit there and read about it all on here. I want to continue writing about my life, about my thoughts on things on this blog. I call it my online journal.


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